counseling
Well, I went today. I like the girl she is very sweet. I'm just having a bad day I guess. He's on my shit again, because I took $50 and put it into 401K for an investment. He's not happy about that. He gave me $20 for my "allowance" and he felt I should have used that money on the $14 it cost for counseling. I didn't. I got a check this morning and wrote it for $14 and I have the $20 in my pocket. I can't believe the ordasity he has for me, towards me, and wha the expects of me. It's because I'm sure he thinks nothing is wrong with me, him or us. As if not having any relations for 7 months is normal? I have realized I'm not losing my mind or have lost my mind, I think? No I'm sure. The thing I have realized is that normal is what is between two people and what you have done in past. So, it's not normal at all...I still don't know what I can do to better myself or make myself more attractive to him so that he wants me. Not just to hear the words out of his mouth, but action to prove that he does in fact want me. Not just telling me what I want to hear. I'm not understanding the future thing either. When I worked at Molded Container, he did the same damn thing, but we lived on it for a year when I lost my job, and we lived well. What if I hadn't done that, we'd have been screwed. We don't have any money saved for the future, it's an investment.
My counselor wants to see me again next week and I'm sure he'll have a bitch fit about that too, another $14 dollars. I want an awful lot, he told me. I wanted to go to Old Navy and get a long red t-shirt like I wear on Friday's, probably less than $10. I need some Mary Kay cosmetics, probably $20 at most, and I want/need a curling Iron! Auntie Pam said she would give me hers, and hopefully it works, then I won't have to purchase it. If we would just eat in more often, we'd save a lot of money. I'm cooking tonight so we don't drop another $30 or $35 on dinner. Last night was an exception, we'd don't usually dine at Olive Garden, but still $20 any way or there abouts, and that adds up quickly. Who the hell am I for wanting anything! Taty's party is coming up, and we have to fork out for that. I need to just be satisfied with what I have and quit wanting anything is the bottom line, because "Stone Cold Said SO" I guess
My counselor wants to see me again next week and I'm sure he'll have a bitch fit about that too, another $14 dollars. I want an awful lot, he told me. I wanted to go to Old Navy and get a long red t-shirt like I wear on Friday's, probably less than $10. I need some Mary Kay cosmetics, probably $20 at most, and I want/need a curling Iron! Auntie Pam said she would give me hers, and hopefully it works, then I won't have to purchase it. If we would just eat in more often, we'd save a lot of money. I'm cooking tonight so we don't drop another $30 or $35 on dinner. Last night was an exception, we'd don't usually dine at Olive Garden, but still $20 any way or there abouts, and that adds up quickly. Who the hell am I for wanting anything! Taty's party is coming up, and we have to fork out for that. I need to just be satisfied with what I have and quit wanting anything is the bottom line, because "Stone Cold Said SO" I guess
posted by Tanya @ 2:49 PM
1 Comments:
At 3:54 PM,
The one and only Tree said…
Well, I don't think denying all wants and desires is healthy for anyone. I do think that eating at home and just going out once a week or something would be a great idea. That would save a TON of $.
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