5/12/05
I hate having to think of a title for each blog, so now I'm using dates rather than titles.
Well, today has started out marvellous, PS I can't get into, even Henry at the support desk cannot get into it. Then, Michael calls and I won't be graced with his presence until 11! I am so happy about that! I know I am bizzare, but what can I say?
Yesterday was my cousins birthday and I called him on his cell to wish him just that, and got his answering machine that has his lovely daughter's voice for the recording. So, I left a message. I've sent him a letter, and my letters are usually longer than my blogs. I've sent him a picture and called numerous times, and to no avail, I get the answering machine. I'm sad about it, but just left a message, what else can I do? So, I've tried feverishly to talk with him, but it seems his life is too busy for me. Makes me wish that when we were younger and he lived here that I would have spent more time with him, so that I wouldn't be missing him so much today. I told him in the letter I sent that I missed him a lot. We used to talk a lot on the phone and I'd see him in person. I remember so well, and now he has 2 children, and has been married I think a year longer than we have, which will be 16 years as of May 22nd. That's a long time to be with the same person.
On a different note; I've decided I can't make up my mind about myself. One day I'm one way and the next, I'm another! I guess I'm confused, or rather, undecided. I amaze myself in this way. As I told Melanie, I can't imagine myself without him but yet I can't imagine myself living in the way it is now "without". I can't figure out what to do to change his perspective. What I've tried hasn't worked. I don't want to live my entire life selabit, being married isn't supposed to be that way. I'm still pondering what to do, at this point doing nothing is what I'm doing. I think I need to read my book again, the whole 532 pages and check myself again. Maybe, it's me is the problem? I feel I make myself attractive, a student proved that yesterday while embarrassing me. Not often do I get that red, but he got me! I can't live my life vicariously through other people, that isn't satisfactory. I must have romance, physical attention, I have needs! Most people do, and I am no exception. That is one of the reasons why I wanted to speak to my cousin, he has been in an accident and also lives every day in pain, takes heavy narcotics and I want to know if his sex drive is gone due to drugs. If she is satisfied with him after all these years of being married, a father and a career man? My Aunt has the same problem with no drive or use for any sexual activity at all. Same reason, heavy narcotics. That's why I wonder if this is a normal side effect, just no use for it at all.
Well, today has started out marvellous, PS I can't get into, even Henry at the support desk cannot get into it. Then, Michael calls and I won't be graced with his presence until 11! I am so happy about that! I know I am bizzare, but what can I say?
Yesterday was my cousins birthday and I called him on his cell to wish him just that, and got his answering machine that has his lovely daughter's voice for the recording. So, I left a message. I've sent him a letter, and my letters are usually longer than my blogs. I've sent him a picture and called numerous times, and to no avail, I get the answering machine. I'm sad about it, but just left a message, what else can I do? So, I've tried feverishly to talk with him, but it seems his life is too busy for me. Makes me wish that when we were younger and he lived here that I would have spent more time with him, so that I wouldn't be missing him so much today. I told him in the letter I sent that I missed him a lot. We used to talk a lot on the phone and I'd see him in person. I remember so well, and now he has 2 children, and has been married I think a year longer than we have, which will be 16 years as of May 22nd. That's a long time to be with the same person.
On a different note; I've decided I can't make up my mind about myself. One day I'm one way and the next, I'm another! I guess I'm confused, or rather, undecided. I amaze myself in this way. As I told Melanie, I can't imagine myself without him but yet I can't imagine myself living in the way it is now "without". I can't figure out what to do to change his perspective. What I've tried hasn't worked. I don't want to live my entire life selabit, being married isn't supposed to be that way. I'm still pondering what to do, at this point doing nothing is what I'm doing. I think I need to read my book again, the whole 532 pages and check myself again. Maybe, it's me is the problem? I feel I make myself attractive, a student proved that yesterday while embarrassing me. Not often do I get that red, but he got me! I can't live my life vicariously through other people, that isn't satisfactory. I must have romance, physical attention, I have needs! Most people do, and I am no exception. That is one of the reasons why I wanted to speak to my cousin, he has been in an accident and also lives every day in pain, takes heavy narcotics and I want to know if his sex drive is gone due to drugs. If she is satisfied with him after all these years of being married, a father and a career man? My Aunt has the same problem with no drive or use for any sexual activity at all. Same reason, heavy narcotics. That's why I wonder if this is a normal side effect, just no use for it at all.
posted by Tanya @ 8:21 AM
2 Comments:
At 11:10 AM,
The one and only Tree said…
Sounds like everyone is in love with Michael this week. Why does he work here again?
At 3:18 PM,
Tanya said…
I'm not sure about that, to be quite honest with you. I have checked into that, and if the numbers persist in being low, there might be hope of not working with him any more.
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